How to Fake Your Way Through an SC Fall
by AnnaLiese Burich ‘17
So. You live in Southern California and want to celebrate fall. Well, in the words of the great Mindy Kaling: first of all, how dare you? That’s right, I said it. Who do you think you are, to want seasons? To want to recapture that childlike wonder of cold noses, hot apple cider, pumpkins, falling leaves, and copious amounts of candy? That sounds like a bummer time to me. No way, Jose. That magical autumnal experience is not for me.
But, for the sake of argument, let’s say you are one of the crazy ones and want to have fall, even though you are living in the perfect 100 degree weather with 100 percent humidity here at USC that makes you feel like you’re swimming and/or dying every time you go outside. I don’t know why you would want to forgo this paradise, this heat that is hotter than summer and/or hell, but I’ve compiled some ways for you to fake your way through fall this year:
1) Be Pro-PSL
I honestly don’t know why Starbucks’ infamous Pumpkin Spice Latte has gotten such a bad rap. Look around, people! It’s practically the one fall tradition in which we can participate here in The Land of No Fall! The holidays are built on traditions, and beggars can’t be choosers, folks.
The fastest way to pretend that the leaves are falling and the sky is crispy is to hold in your hands a piping hot beverage that tastes both like your childhood trips to the pumpkin patch and your mom’s pumpkin pie in one cup. I make myself drink these and I make myself feel the magic. They taste great and they capture the spirit of fall. I don’t care if the temperature outside is hotter than the incredibly hot drink; I don’t care if it makes me sweat through my shirt. I. Will. Taste. Fall.
2) Wear Boots
Same basic rule applies here: fake it till you make it. My uniform this month has been tee shirt, shorts, and boots. Yes, my ankles are sliding around in pools of sweat by the end of the 100 degree day, but man do I look like fall! People see me and think to themselves: “Wow, it really is fall. It’s boots season again. It’s just like I’m back in Minnesota.” Every time they look at me, they feel a little more festive; every time I look at them looking at me, I feel a little more festive. I’m really spreading the holiday cheer with my noble sacrifice here. You’re welcome.
3) Wear flannels
I think you’re catching onto the trend, so I’ll make this one brief: Flannel=Lumberjack=Maple syrup=Fall. Or, if you’re really in the holiday spirit: Flannel=Cozy PJs=Christmas=SANTA. This is your new mantra while you sweat all throughout the day. Decrease your pain by pairing your look with shorts and a crop top. Or, if you’re really a pansy, the instant the sun goes down and it becomes 79 degrees, bust that baby out. No sun makes it look like it’s cold outside, and that’s all that matters.
4) Feel the Chill
This one is for those hot house flowers out there. If you really can’t be the martyr that you should be around this time of year and wear your boots and flannels, there is always the true SC way to celebrate the “season”: cool down with some pumpkin flavored ice cream. I know CREAM and Sprinkles have some killer Pumpkin ice cream / cupcake combos right now, as well as the surprisingly delicious and autumnal Rum Raisin.
Alternate way of looking at it: you’re making yourself cold, since the air can’t do it for you! You MAKE the weather! You MAKE the seasons!
Pictured: Little AnnaLiese working that pumpkin game like no other.
5) Pumpkin EVERYTHING
Like I said, pumpkins are one of the few traditions we can utilize here in the heat zone, so try to make everything in your life somehow related to pumpkins. First, buy pumpkins at the grocery store and stick those puppies all over your apartment. Living in a pumpkin patch is essentially the same as living out those traditional fall dreams, so it works. Plus, when it gets too hot inside your non-air conditioned apartment, the pumpkins bake into pumpkin pies! MAGIC!
While you’re at the grocery store, buy some pumpkin pie spice; then, proceed to dump it on everything you consume. Coffee? More like pumpkin spice coffee! Cereal? Pumpkin spice cereal! Steak? PUMPKIN. PIE. SPICE. STEAK. Make that pumpkin pie spice your main food group, and you will literally ooze the holiday spirit.
REMIX TIME
This is for those hardcore season-makers out there: here are my super top-secret recommendations to make your Fall-ing next level.
-Exclusively hang out in the Thornton quad (near the Norris and Bing Theaters). I’ve officially dubbed this the most autumnal area of campus. The trees just ooze (the potential to be) different colors, and sometimes a leaf falls. The light is pretty soft and pleasant in this area, so you can almost pretend it’s overcasty. Take your PSL and flannel (to sit on) here during the day to do your homework. People will really appreciate how autumnal you look, sitting there pretty as a picture.
-Alternatively, take a romantic evening walk in this Thornton quad at night. It’ll be just like taking a carriage ride in Central Park! Again, bring your PSL and flannel, and you better be crushing those leaves (green grass) in those boots!
-Turn up the AC really high in your apartment or house; wear your thickest sweater. Eat some soup, curl up with a good book, and sip some tea. The weather outside (inside) is frightful, but your fire will be so delightful. Look outside wistfully and think about moody things.
-Do your homework in Doheny. It’s the most Hogwarts-y place we have on campus, and we all know that Hogwarts goes all out for fall. Look up at the ceiling and just imagine those candles and pumpkins floating, and boom, it’s fall. Magic.
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Hopefully I’ve gotten you in the mood to celebrate fall as it should be celebrated! Through the iconography of fall and entirely disregarding the weather! USC itself looks pretty autumnal with all those bricks, you you’re already ahead of people at other SC colleges.
That is, if you want to celebrate the magic of fall. Which I sure don’t. Nope. No sir. I’m definitely not wearing a flannel and boots right now and drinking a PSL.
