I Didn’t Go to the Same College as my Twin

by Donal Buckley ‘26

I think many people can relate to the idea that a single thing about them ends up becoming their defining trait. Before coming to USC, for me, that was having a twin brother.

Growing up, my twin, Cathal, and I used to do practically everything together. We’d spend week-long stints at summer camps together, we became volunteers for the zoo together, and of course, would drive to school together every day. Everywhere I went, there was another person with me. Although our personalities are polar opposites, he was still my built-in best friend. With that, though, comes the label of “twin,” which almost felt like a token. I love my twin brother, but growing up, it was hard to find individuality within this label.

This all changed, though, when we went to different universities. We didn’t even apply to any of the same schools. He ended up following in my older brother’s footsteps and going to Gonzaga. Meanwhile, I came to USC. I quickly realized that for the first time in my life I was truly on my own. I was waking up and going to class every day by myself. I introduced myself to new people as an individual. And when someone I meet eventually does find out I’m a twin, it’s not the defining aspect of my identity. Since we were surrounded by people who didn’t know the other personally anymore, they couldn’t mold us into the same person.

I’ve come to realize that as we grew up attached like this, even I had a hard time separating myself from my brother. Like I said, we’ve always been different, but I think that college was finally a way for both of us to explore more of who we are as individuals. From bedrooms to birthdays, it’s always been “we” rather than “me.” And, not to sound selfish, but it was nice to be able to take ownership of things that were mine alone.

Even though going to school without my other half has granted me a lot of freedom, it’s also come with its hardships as well. In unfamiliar situations, it was nice to have another person by my side. I didn’t need to be as scared to try, say, Taekwondo for the first time because I wasn’t going in completely alone. So moving to an entirely new state, having to meet entirely new people, and find entirely new activities without the safety net that was my twin brother was extremely daunting at first. Many twins I know ended up going to the same school, so they still had that safety net, but for us, it was a different story. We couldn’t rely on each other for comfort anymore, or at the very least, not as consistently as before.

Of course, Cathal is not at fault for how I used to feel about my individuality, but even today, I sometimes feel the attachment of our identities. We’re always going to be a part of each other. There’s an almost inescapable assumption with twins that I don’t see going away soon. When the topic of my twin comes up, if their first question isn’t if we’re identical, it’s if he goes to USC as well. It’s as if people believe twins are two halves of a whole rather than two separate, fully functioning beings who just happen to share a birthday.

Going to a different university than my brother has been a challenge for sure. But it has been a welcome one. Although I miss having someone by my side when I enter tough situations, it’s also nice to be able to tackle things on my own and experience what many people have been going through at an earlier age. Going to different schools separates us physically, but that’s not always a bad thing. I’m able to learn about myself and grow on my own terms for a change.

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