Missing Connections

Addressing Loneliness as a Trojan

By: Dara Udobong ‘23

Its already been more than 2 months since our return to campus, but honestly, it still feels surreal to be back. With a year and a half away from the great Tommy Trojan himself, 2 graduating classes fresh out of high school, and a new-found appreciation for life itself, everyone seems to be diving headfirst into getting the college experience. 

I spent a good amount of time while we were all away from school re-imagining my return to school: how I would re-invent myself for the sake of interaction, step out of my comfort zone, and meet more people. What I didn’t realize was, there’s no magical button that transforms you into a whole new person at a moment’s will. You come back the same person you were when you left. It seemed like I had all the ingredients for the perfect post-pandemic comeback (after all, didn’t we all swear on social media that when 2020 was over, we’d become the version of ourselves we’d always wanted to be?), and yet, the pieces didn’t seem to fall together when I needed them to.  

For some continuing students, things also didn’t click back into place on demand: some friends didn’t return, some graduated, and some friendships were just too premature to make it through the strain of 1.5+ years of isolation. Remember the pacts you made pre-Spring 2020? Your sophomore plans to room with your newly made best friends? Your fresh-off-the-counter 4-year college bucket list? Yeah, those plans. Where did the time go?

For others, those plans were never made, existing solely as ideas which hinged on the promise of a “normal” semester. One we haven’t quite had since. It feels like so many of us are starting from scratch, and in a school as big as USC, it only makes sense that you might feel lonely sometimes. Looking around campus and seeing groups of friends eating together, walking to class together, deep in gist, or sitting together during class seems to magnify our own insecurities and make our loneliness feel all the more overwhelming. Thankfully, you’re not alone. Look around you: there are so many people walking alone, also new to all of this and in your exact same position. Why not start from there?

More than anything, its important to remember that the dynamic in college is completely different from what it was in your hometown or high school. Back then, you were able to make stable and long-lasting connections with people you saw everyday. In college, you have to be deliberate about making connections. And if these friendships don’t reach the depth your high school friendships reached, then that just makes the deep relationships you have made all the more special. People say all the time: you’ll find your college tribe eventually. But the important thing to note is, even if you don’t and you feel like you’re running out of time, there’s no deadline. This is yet another phase in your life: soon you might move cities, start a new job, and be in a totally different environment that demands new friends. There’s always an opportunity to make lasting friendships—and it doesn’t have to be in college. Be most authentic to yourself in everything you do and similar people will come. And if they don’t? That’s okay too.

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