The Importance of Maintaining Close Relationships

By: Sophia Pei ‘22

With the raging pandemic and social distancing, it can be increasingly difficult to have meaningful interactions with friends and family. Perhaps your best friend, whom you previously saw every day, is halfway across the country in a different time zone, and, now that you’ve moved back home, the parents you missed are breathing down your neck and nagging about grades and future plans. Whether it’s due to the increased distance or the lack of any distance, your relationship dynamics have changed. To improve relationship quality and promote mental well-being, you should make the time to find ways to check in with your loved ones and show them you care.

The last thing you may want to do after a draining day of work or school is to spend more time in front of a desktop. However, taking the time to talk with friends can be exactly what you need to recharge. A research study published in the Journal of Happiness tries to explain why. After comparing the survey results of 2,593 participants, researchers identified the most plausible reason interacting with our friends make us happy: friends help us value our individuality. Participants who reported having high friendship quality also reported a high sense of personal uniqueness and overall happiness, showing a strong association between friendship, sense of uniqueness, and happiness. 

One interesting note is that feeling “unique” isn’t always linked to better mood. The study points out that in certain groups (notably teenagers) feeling unique or different may actually be associated with lowered self-esteem and therefore decreased happiness. The key role that good friends play is that they can help us view our differences in a positive way. So next time you hit a motivational wall, rather than sulking, call a loved one to get the confidence boost you need and remind yourself how great it is to be you.

With impending economic depression, a highly polarized political climate, and— not to mention—a pandemic, it’s not surprising that recent reports from the Center of Disease Control (CDC)  show a significant spike in the incidence of depression and anxiety. It’s challenging to stay motivated when future plans are so uncertain. During these isolating times, it’s especially important to establish supportive social networks because doing so decreases the risk of developing mental illnesses. In a study following nearly 800 teenagers over three years, researchers from the University of Cambridge found that the participants who reported experiencing social stressors like bullying and familial conflict were more likely to show depressive symptoms, but having family support and healthy increased resilience and decreased the likelihood of exhibiting signs of depression. This again shows the value of checking in on those you care about — not only does talking to loved ones relate to increased happiness, it also seems to protect against mental illness. 

When people feel like they have meaningful relationships, they tend to be able to process their emotions in healthier ways and not internalize their negative feelings. As simple as it sounds, reminding yourself that you have people who care about you, and reminding others that they can rely on you, may be the most effective way to improve mental health in your community. 

As social creatures, we crave care and emotional intimacy, and it’s important to use technology to maximize that connection. Emails and texts get the message across, but they’re nowhere near as conducive to bonding as more “media-rich” forms of communication like video-calling or an in-person meetup. Media richness refers to the ability to convey nuance like sarcasm and subjective intentions or emotion. For example, a video call would be more media rich than a text — compare seeing a friendly face in a video call and reading an emotionally ambiguous text message. 

A study on electronic communication following 39 mentor-mentee pairs over 7 months showed the importance of using media rich communication in developing supportive relationships. The results showed that in comparison to mentees who primarily communicated over texts and emails with their mentors, mentees that had regular face-to-face video meetings felt more supported and satisfied with the mentorship program. Of course, scheduling and hosting a video call takes more effort — perhaps you need to get out of bed and change out of pajamas — but this effort does not go unappreciated. While it’s currently not advised to meet up with friends in-person or even attend larger family functions, we can turn on our video cameras and try to simulate the same in-person experience as much as possible. To best maximize the quality of your interactions, use the most immersive resources available. 

However, given differences in technological resources, it may not be possible to video call all the time. Media-richness isn’t about the form of media used (though that definitely can influence it), but about the ability to convey the intention and tone. The same study on mentor-mentee relationships found that for the mentor-mentee pairs who primarily communicated via emails and messages, satisfaction went up with the increased frequency of interaction. This shows that it’s possible to compensate for using less interactive media by simply increasing how often you reach out. 

While video calls are better able to convey emotion and sincerity, with use of emojis and explicit statements of intent, written messages can be just as effective. Increased communication allows for speech and texting patterns to be more evident, leading to better inference of tone. So just because your desktop doesn’t have a webcam doesn’t mean you won’t be able to have fulfilling relationships; it just may be that you have to reach out more often.

Ironically, the solution to “Zoom fatigue” may be using Zoom to call your best friend more often. It’ll remind you how special you are and keep you motivated to keep being the best you you can be. Your loved ones appreciate you because you are different; share that happiness, and express your appreciation for them. Even if you aren’t going through a crisis, maybe someone you care about needs a reminder that they have someone who cares. Of course, it’s more challenging to pour your heart out when you don’t have a physical shoulder to cry on, but you can make the best of the situation through video calls and other media-rich forms of communication. Taking the time to chat with the people that matter to you will improve mental health outcomes for yourself and all the people you care about.

Want more from Trojans 360?

Visit Trojans 360 on Facebook & Twitter to stay up to date with more student content! You can also Ask A Trojan an anonymous question, and we’ll try to answer it in a future post. And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram!

Trojans 360 is USC’s official student-run blog. Content created by students, for students.