The Ugly Truth: We Live In A Rape Culture [Part 1]

By Lauren Brose ‘15

So I am standing at Study Hall, the newly remodeled 2-9 off of Hoover that serves draft beer, sandwiches and shareable starters. It’s Saturday and USC is slaughtering Colorado at our home front. An older male wearing a Colorado shirt approaches me and my boyfriend and strikes a conversation. I learn he went to USC undergrad and is currently a grad student at Colorado. After getting the fundamental details of our backgrounds out of the way, he asks if I want to hear a joke. I love jokes and I am not easily offended—why not? He says: “What’s the best thing about duct tape?” By choice, I am  not going to finish this joke because I do not advocate rape jokes of any type—but nonetheless he delivered a rape joke to me, a female. I was disgusted.

I always knew that if I were born a boy instead of a girl, my life would’ve been inherently different in many ways aside from biological differences. I grew up not just the baby of the family but the only girl. My one older brother, an alpha male by nature, was always popular in school and frequently slept over at his friend’s house. My mother never allowed me the same privileges. Perplexed, I asked her why. She said “I don’t trust your friend’s older brothers. I don’t know what they’re capable of doing to you.” I used to get so frustrated with her because it had nothing to do with my actions or behaviors. In hindsight, I couldn’t be more grateful. 

Women are taught today to take preventative measures to protect themselves from being victimized of sexual assault. We’re told not to walk down certain streets, not to be outside alone during certain hours, to always stick with our friends and to not wear outfits that flatter our body. For as long as I can remember, I was told to watch over my alcoholic beverages at parties in case someone slipped a date rape drug in it. It’s becoming increasingly apparent that we are taught defensive measures on how to not get raped instead of narrowing in on the real problem: why aren’t men just being told not to be rapists?

As an active Greek member, I was recently required to attend a mandatory presentation regarding sexual assault topics. Panhellenic, the organization that overlooks and regulates all sororities on campus, informed us that our presentation is slightly different from the presentation that fraternities received. This owes itself to startling statistics about sexual violence that is so prevalent in college culture today.

• 1 in 5 college girls are raped while attending college
• 1/3 are freshman students 
• 85% of the rape survivors knew their rapist
• College females who are involved in Greek are 74% more likely to be raped
• Less than 5% of rapes and attempted rapes are reported to law enforcement

I am in no way suggesting that all men, college males or even men in fraternities, are rapists. In fact, my male friends who are currently active members in fraternities at USC told me that if they ever heard of a guy in their house sexually assaulting me they would set all aspects of brotherhood aside and hold that fraternity member 100% accountable for hurting and disrespecting a girl in that way.

On October 1, Jody Shipper, Executive Director of the Office of Equity and Diversity and Title IX Coordinator, sent out an email to all USC students regarding the newly implemented Sexual Misconduct Prevention Task Force. The task force aims to spread awareness of sexual misconduct topics throughout campus. While constructive and progressive, this newly implemented task force further supports the fact that we are living in a rape culture. Instead of dismissing “rape culture” as a feminist term and denying the notion that rape is becoming more commonplace, we must embrace the reality of the situation and spread awareness.

Rape culture is defined as “an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture.  Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.”

Some examples of insertions of a Rape Culture in society include:

• Blaming the victim (“She asked for it!”)
• Trivializing sexual assault (“Boys will be boys!”)
• Sexually explicit jokes
• Tolerance of sexual harassment
• Inflating false rape report statistics
• Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state, motives, and history
• Gratuitous gendered violence in movies and television
• Defining “manhood” as dominant and sexually aggressive
• Defining “womanhood” as submissive and sexually passive
• Pressure on men to “score”
• Pressure on women to not appear “cold”
• Assuming only promiscuous women get raped
• Assuming that men don’t get raped or that only “weak” men get raped
• Refusing to take rape accusations seriously
• Teaching women to avoid getting raped instead of teaching men not to rape 

The easy way out would be to tell all men “don’t rape.” From a pragmatic perspective I think that’s the clear solution, but life isn’t always that easy. We are currently in the process of mending this culture that exists and the many discrepancies with consent. 

What exactly is rape?

When people imagine rape, they see a man forcing himself on a woman who is conscious, crying and struggling to break free. The man isn’t in it for the sex–– he is in it for the control. He leaves her damaged and alone–– pride and dignity no longer intact.

I am not denying that this is a true situation of rape. This isn’t, however, the only instance of rape. Rape is defined as a nonconsensual act of sex that was forced on the victim by the perpetrator. Conscious or not, if it was not consensual it is considered rape.

Rape could be having too much Popov Vodka at a party and waking up unclothed in a bed that’s not your own next to someone you don’t remember sleeping with. Except you both more than just “slept” together—you engaged in sexual conduct that you have zero recollection of.

I get it—you’re probably embarrassed. You feel naïve for not being awake to experience the hookup but more importantly for not handling your liquor. The best way to beat this awkwardness is to not mention it again and brush it under the rug. In fact, you might even remain friends with him and reminisce about that “funny time you guys accidentally slept together.” It wasn’t an accident. Maybe it was for you but it certainly wasn’t for him.

Here’s what makes me really really really sad

The more I speak to girls about this topic, the more shocked I become with the existence of rape in college. The other day I went to a friend’s house and met two girls for the first time. I mentioned the topic of rape and both girls admitted to being too intoxicated before and being taken advantage of by guys they did not want to hook up with. Furthermore, I received overwhelming denial that what they endured was not rape but a simple misunderstanding. Their response: “I consider it to be my fault because I was too drunk to tell him to stop. Next time I won’t be that drunk.”

From what I can deduce from just that response alone, she was (1) extremely intoxicated from alcohol consumption, (2) she did not want him to proceed with having sex with her, (3) she was unable to communicate to the guy effectively due to her current state of mind and (4) she blames and holds herself responsible for it happening to her. I understand where the denial has derived from: they were not mentally present during the experience; therefore it did not happen to them.

Studies have proven that girls constantly blame themselves for being victims of rape. I wonder why because the way I see it no one should ever be allowed to touch my body as long as I don’t allow them to—especially if I am too incapacitated to say so.

(Read Part 2 Here)