Ferris Bueller Day
By Grace Carballo ‘ 17
In good conscience, I cannot insist you take a day off of school because I once calculated the cash value of each lecture at USC and it was startling. That being said, while learning in the traditional sense of the word is, of course, very important, you really cannot underestimate the value of learning from life experiences.
If you do need to take a “sick day” or are just sick of going to class (see what I did there?), the good news is that now that you are in college, you don’t have to go to the lengths that Ferris did to convince his parents he was too ill to attend. In fact, your parents can’t even access your medical records or grades without you signing off on it first. Sweet freedom!
Obviously, Ferris did have some advantages, like the luxury of proximity to Chicago (s/o to the folks back home) where the public transportation is extensive and the traffic much more reasonable. Since you cannot realistically get around L.A. on foot like Ferris, Cameron, and Sloan did for most of their day off, I’ve developed a loose framework for what your unexcused (or excused if you know how to work the system) absence day should entail:
1) The unbelievably satisfying knowledge that the responsible people you left behind are having the worst time.
If you’re going to abandon your responsibilities for a day, you might as well choose wisely- pick the day with your longest and most tedious lectures, when all your pet peeves manifest themselves one way or another.
2) A cool posse
You’ll definitely want your friends there for this- especially so you can collaborate when you tell and retell the tales of whatever shenanigans you find yourselves in and also so you can split the fares on the Ubers.
3) Sports and heckling
There are plenty of professional teams you and your friends can harass, but also amateur leagues could be fun, as well. Spectating is a sport in its own right and Ferris and Cameron are MVPs who you should try to emulate in your free time.
4) A youthful disposition
Like Peter Pan, but with a little more edge, Ferris knew better than to grow up prematurely. You can’t minor in recess or peanut butter & jelly, but you can and should use your day off to live like you once did, in a simpler time.
5) Confidence
Fake it until you make it, wherever the day may take you. Act like a tourist and take a tour of stars’ homes. Better yet, give a tour of stars’ homes. Take it one step further, convince everyone you are the star and welcome them to your home, why don’t ya?
6) A warm embrace of the unexpected
I make a lot of plans, ambitious ones, and they never really work the way I intend- Life’s funny that way. So laugh along with it and cherish whatever happens, especially if you find yourself in a parade. Maybe traffic will be at such a standstill you’ll get the opportunity to blast music from your car radio and start a highway dance off with fellow commuters. Maybe you will get a sunburn on your back that looks exactly like Julia Roberts. Maybe you will save someone’s life, ideally a small dog. I can’t predict your future but I have high hopes for its entertainment value.
7) A Treat Yo’self mentality
It doesn’t have to be a fancy meal- I have an innate distrust of any entree that costs more than my outfit (approx $20), but definitely try something new or at least an unexpected combo. French fries can and will complement waffles but you can go even wilder than that. Ferris and crew ate pancreas, which I would argue is significantly worse than just attending school, but to each her or his own.
I hope you have found these seven tips helpful or ideally that you stopped reading halfway through and went on an adventure. If you’ve reasoned through it and you think a day off would do more harm than good to your mental health, don’t forget there is the Ferris Bueller’s Day Off screening this Wednesday at 8:00 on McCarthy Quad which promises to be a good time.
Ironically, I have a class I cannot miss at exactly the time of the screening (7-10 pm) so I will not be in attendance. These are the cards I have been dealt, but don’t let my misfortune stop you from RSVPing to the event and living your respective life fully.
