Independence is Happiness: Being single during your 20s
By Lauren Brose ‘15
During college, there is so much uncertainty with what the future holds— Not knowing if you’ll get a job, not knowing where will it be, and asking yourself “what’s next for me?” is a daunting experience. I came to this realization my sophomore year. It became clear to me then that I needed to do whatever it took to put myself in a good spot for a job upon graduation. That was when I decided my life is 100% about my goals. I’m sure many of us desire accomplishing a number of specific things before 30 such as traveling the world or moving up quickly in the working world. These aspirations truly reflect who we are as people; therefore, we owe ourselves this time to fully discover who we really are.
This is why I believe friends and family are the only people we need during our 20s.
From the beginning, friendship has always been a huge part of our lives. Interestingly enough, the role our friends play in our lives is amongst the least understood areas of psychology. Research suggests friends, including the ones we are no longer friends with, helped shape who we’ve become today. This is because we’re able to develop successful skills in life such as knowing ourselves better and having a happier personality.
I’ve been in my 20s for only two years but have loved every bit of it. I’ve embraced my independence and feel empowered having the freedom to do whatever I please. I’m sure many will resonate with me when I say I love being single in my 20s. If you don’t agree, think twice and consider these reasons:
No ties
If you want to take that job in Chicago or a gap year between college and your career, you wont have to worry about what your significant other thinks or whether they are going to make these moves with you. I aspire to live in several cities and it’s comforting knowing my friends are considering those cities as well. While we aren’t obligated to move at the same time, there’s always that possibility we will both be in the same area.
You can make game time decisions
One of my favorite memories from semester (so far) was the time I booked a ticket to San Francisco and flew up to see my friend, Kendall, who had just recently moved there. I never set a concrete weekend to visit and played it totally by ear. This isn’t normally something one can do as they would typically take advantage of their open weekends to spend time with their SO. A week after returning from SF, I booked another flight for Halloween weekend (AKA the Weekender!).
Everyday is your day
I don’t know about you, but I plan my entire day around myself. My needs are my number 1 priority (as they should be) and I don’t wake up thinking of what I have to do for someone else; I instead think of what I am going to undertake for myself. Having a productive everyday routine is what keeps your mind sharp. By balancing stimulating (work, school) and gratifying things (Friends, hobbies, Netflix) in your life, you will ultimately grow to love yourself and be self-sufficient.
Your friends guarantee a of good time
Friends makes each other feel great about themselves–– that’s why they’re so wonderful to have around. During our 20s, we want to explore our surroundings and our own interests and our best friends are perfect people to share these experiences with. I can’t even think on the top of my head a night I spent with my friends where I had bad experiences. I can’t honestly say the same about a number of dates I’ve gone on where things have gone awry, thus ruining my entire evening.
Free time = Me time
I work approximately 30 hours a week at a tech startup, blog and attend school full-time. When I have free time it’s usually spent catching up on sleep, playing with my cat or working on my health. I already have my plate full enough as it is so when my night is completely open, I relish having total control over how I wish to spend that time. Having “me time” is so important. It clears your head of your every day stressors and you are able to recharge optimally.
Your family will love having you in their lives
Life is short. Check in on your family and try to stay as much a part of their lives as possible. Your family doesn’t want to appear bothersome by trying to speak to you on a regular basis. That doesn’t mean they don’t miss you–– it means they are simply putting the ball in your court. Whether it’s driving, Skyping, texting, or talking on the phone, it’s important to communicate with your family.
You can focus on your career
This is self explanatory. If you want to take on Law School or a position doing investment banking that allots virtually no free time at all, your 20s is the prime time to pursue this endeavor. For one, we have an incredible energy level. Secondly, in order to move up, we all have to make our dues. Make the best of this time and do what makes you most fulfilled.
In fact, just do whatever you want
If you want to drop off the face of the world for a day or week, you can! If you want to sleep on a giant bean bag in your friend’s room for two nights in a week, go for it. Wake up at 2PM on a Sunday and completely miss brunch. Or be like me and binge watch 4 seasons of scandal in less than 2 weeks. Whatever it is, just do you.
The way I see it, it is incredibly counterproductive to settle down and have a relationship during such an erratic time. You’re thwarting your ability to mature into a person free of insecurities. While it’s fun to go on dates and meet new people, creating ties, adopting obligations to another person and taking on the job of “significant other” is not fit for your 20s–– you can worry about that when you’re done creating a happy and independent life for yourself.
