Introverts and Extroverts: What are these pseudointellectual words being thrown around and what does it mean?

By Lauren Brose ‘15

What exactly is the difference between an extrovert and an introvert? Most speculate that introversion is synonymous to shyness and being an extrovert means you have a very outgoing personality. I agreed with that statement until I did a bit of digging around. I became interested in this topic because I never identified myself as a full on extrovert although between the two I was definitely more so that than an introvert. I most precisely identified myself as a mix between the two. Friends would say “Lauren don’t be ridiculous you’re not a shy person at all” and although I wasn’t the shyest at the very least, I identified with a lot of the attributes I assumed an introverted person—that being, a lesser outgoing person—would possess.

I am one of the most talkative people you’d ever meet; I don’t hold back on what I want to say. I have a big personality and a general liking of people. I also love being alone. I relish the peaceful solitude of my room and would often prefer blowing off plans to go out on Row and instead watch movies by myself, never uttering a single word. I do have many friends in several social circles but wouldn’t consider myself a part of a clique who does everything together. I’ve tried it and found that it was exhausting and simply not for me. I’d much rather hang out one-on-one or in a group of no more than five or six people. Anything more than that and I feel an itching paranoia that I am not being inclusive or they are not being inclusive. I am not a loner or a snob and for the most part I am a likable person.

After researching the topic more thoroughly, I found that the distinction between the two had nothing to do with personality traits but instead everything to do with energy and where we get it. Introverts lose energy when they are around people for an extended amount of time—especially large groups. When they are alone is when their energy is regained. On the other hand, extroverts regain energy through being social and find that their energy is depleted the more they spend time alone.

Extroverts

• People person
• Life of any party
• Demands to be the center of attention of strangers
• Repetitive tasks bore them unless they are rewarded with attention
• Happy to share thoughts
• Easily changes their mind
• Happy to discuss themselves, including personal problems
• Wide circle of friends and puts lots of effort in current friendships

Introverts

• Likes only some people
• Needs space
• Doesn’t like attention from a crowd unless they know them well
• They interact with groups but wont lead conversations, typically saying one thing that makes a large impact
• Won’t talk about themselves or their problems unless they’ve already worked it out in their heads
• Small circle of friends in which they place their trust in
• Tends to pursue solitary hobbies
• In relationships, expressing feelings verbally is a challenge. Letter, cards or in gestures is most preferred. 

After careful review (and a few online quizzes just for breadth), I came to the realization that I am neither fully an introvert nor am I completely an extrovert. I am a cross between the two called an ambivert (Darn you Psychology 100). Most of us will most likely be identified as an ambivert and while it seems ordinary and boring to be like everyone else, ambiverts can be more extroverted than introverted or vice versa. It’s like a percentage with 100% pointing to being an extrovert and 0% being an introvert. I would ballpark myself being around 70%.

Studies have shown that ambiverts even thrive better in the workplace than extreme introverts and extroverts do. In fact, a Wharton study at the University of Pennsylvania found the best salespeople were ambiverts. While popular belief assert that extroverts make the best salespeople since they are more assertive and work well with strangers, ambiverts are more observant, they have a perfect balance between knowing when to take the risk and when to hold back as well as when to speak up and when not to.

The bottom line is that extroverts can be shy. Introverts are not necessarily loners. It’s much deeper than whether someone has the ability to talk a lot or tends to be more of a listener. Extroverts believe introverts are boring and antisocial but even when introverts are in large groups they can still feel extremely lonely. And chances are you somewhere in the middle of the two. In relationships, extroverts and introverts can coexist. It is important to note that introverts do need their space while extroverts enjoy the presence of people. This may seem problematic but like the old cliché, opposites attract. Most of the time, they will be complementary to each other.

If you’re curious as to whether you are an introvert, extrovert or an ambivert, feel free to take a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) that will best assess your qualities.