The Correlation Between My Seat and Productivity

By Angelina Li

High school senior year, at 8:00 AM in May, my beloved laptop almost died due to a traumatic injury in the cafeteria. The culprit? A rather unseasoned, unwell basketball novice somehow chucked the ball smack dab onto my laptop’s screen, missing the hoop perhaps five feet away from him. 

Keep in mind that at least fifteen other people were sitting at the table I was at who were not victimized—so yay me! But ever since coming to USC, I think I have got my seating choices locked in. 

In fact, my seating choices have increased my productivity since coming to USC—which is great, because my summer was anything but productive.

When selecting a place to sit, I consider two crucial factors: people and proximity. Ask what your college can do for you. There I said it. Students and professors who take a fleeting glance at me crouched on the floor motivate me to look productive and therefore be productive. Sitting next to the lecture hall makes the looming nearness of the next class a ticking time bomb to finish my readings at hand.

Through these choices, I have been able to finish club applications in record time, draft an acceptable philosophy paper in thirty minutes, and even create multiple detailed Quizlets within an hour.

By far my favoritest (yes, the need for emphasis trumps horrific grammar) seat has been squat outside lecture halls.

After you arrive  at Taper Hall, truck up two flights of stairs, you will find me sitting on the third flight of stairs adjacent to the lecture hall, two hours early for my history class.

It happens in my favor that the professor of the class before mine has a voice that booms across the hall and out the door, a passion for teaching comparable to that of John Keating.

Dare I try to scroll on Instagram instead of completing my readings, it feels as if the professor himself can see my actions and make an example of me. It also helps that encountering passerby students is like one of those mushroom boosts in Mario Kart that further force me to stay productive because yes, I am also subject to peer pressure.

Across campus lies Mudd Hall, a dimly lit, old-timey building with its biggest vice being a lack of AC. As I humbly and, at times, uncomfortably sit on the floor, I speed through my work, pretending I am a shunned philosopher who must prove my work to the scholars who have excommunicated me. That last part is completely made up, but I will start implementing this tactic. 

Of course, I am also highly picky about my seat in class. I gun for the second-row middle seat, in which the person in front of me provides a necessary barrier between myself and the professor. Front and center, I am obliged to take ample notes and stay on task—unless, of course, I fall asleep despite my caffeine intake, which cannot be helped. 

Alas, paying thousands of dollars and then some in tuition does not equate to the welcoming of the holy gates of academia at all hours. No, your dreams of horizontally reclining across a row of seats in your philosophy lecture hall at midnight cannot be realized here. 

The McCarthy courtyard of the second floor with its egg-shaped cushion chairs boasts a vibrant community of studiers, socializers, ping-pong players, and sometimes singers. After dark, when my desire to crawl into my cozy bed is ever-increasing, this outside haven is the perfect place to keep myself in check and stay focused on my studies.

Despite my preference for accountability via peer pressure while studying, for the life of me I cannot study with friends. With my tendency to yap, being social while working diminishes my productivity and thus, I enjoy studying alone in the midst of nearby people. By proxy, this also makes the dining halls an excellent location as well, although the free flow of food is quite a distracting factor. 

However, managing editor Adrian Mendoza commented, “The free flow of food is precisely why I love studying in dining halls and a big reason that I still choose to have a dining plan as a senior.” Perhaps that will be me in four years.

Perhaps I am but an overly optimistic freshman and my productivity now will wane despite my curated seating choices. In fact, as I revisit this article to make edits, I have actually had to run to my 10:00 AM discussion after spending too long getting ready. Nevertheless, I’ll keep believing that arriving batshit early to lecture halls will help me earn the grades I desire.