Sometimes It’s Okay to Quit

By Amy Wang ‘21

Many of us come to USC previously as some of the top students at our high school. We were the school presidents, the editors-in-chief, and the honor students. But when you gather all the great students and put them in one place, we are no longer the big fish, but rather one of many fish in a large pond.

I was not spectacular in high school, but I definitely worked hard. I pushed myself to my limits, ate late, slept later if I slept at all. I came to USC expecting myself to and actually trying to do the same. I would say I achieved my goal my freshman year for the most part. And because I survived, I decided to try again my sophomore year this semester.

The results… I crashed and burned, literally.

I fell into bed every night, ecstatic just thinking about the four hours of sleep I would get. Unsurprisingly, four hours is not enough sleep. I would wake up feeling as if my whole body was on fire. I would joke with my friends that there was at least one good coming out of all this– I finally lost some weight.

Having a full day of speed walking back and forth between different buildings across campus, biking to and from work as fast as my legs could pedal, and staying up until 2AM or later to do work is not healthy physically or emotionally. Losing weight like this isn’t a sign of productivity, but rather a sign of a deteriorating body.

For the first three weeks of school, I thrived. I thought to myself, “This isn’t too bad. I can handle it.” Then week 4 and the assignments that came with it hit me all at once. I began to feel the burden more and more, but I thought that it was too late to drop anything because the registration deadlines had passed and more importantly, I’m not one to give up.

I kept telling myself that the best thing I could do for myself was to keep going and to do more. I thought it would be weak of me to ever give in to physical or emotional exhaustion. I considered dropping an additional 2 unit class I took on for this semester but ended up telling myself that dropping the class would be an embarrassment. I kept comparing myself to others and telling myself, “if other people can do it, I should be able to do it too.”

That’s where I went wrong. Everyone is different. We all live different lives and have different limits. Just because other people could handle more didn’t mean I could.

I only finally realized that quitting would be the only way I’d make it through the semester when my suitemate burst into our apartment yelling, “I am so happy today” in the most celebratory voice I have ever heard. I asked her why and she said, “I dropped out of one of my clubs today.”

I was confused out of my mind.

She continued, “I’m so excited just thinking about all the time I have on my hands now. I didn’t enjoy that club that much, and now that I’m out of it, I can finally do the things that truly make me happy.”

While clubs and classes are different commitments, it was the idea behind her statements that resonated with me. My suitemate unintentionally gave me the courage I needed to accept that I couldn’t handle everything I took on and that it was time to quit. My mindset also changed in that I realized quitting doesn’t necessarily mean I’m weak; sometimes it’s having the power to quit that makes me strong.

After I dropped the time-consuming two-unit course, I had time to take a break and actually eat lunch. I had time to go on spontaneous boba-runs with my friends. Most importantly, I got a bit more sleep. While I’m definitely not relaxing every day, dropping the class gave me just a few more hours to enjoy life each week and that’s just what I needed.

Being ambitious and dreaming big is a good thing, but I’ve also learned that empty spaces on a calendar don’t necessarily need to be filled either. It’s important to just leave some time to take care of yourself. Now that I’ve finally done that, I feel more alive and my life feels more enjoyable.

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