The Present of Presence: The Gift We Forget To Give

By Judy Lee ‘17 

As the holiday season approaches, there will obviously be much more talk about the giving season. Everyone has a gift for someone else and holiday cheer is spread all around. But as the days draw nearer before I leave for study abroad, I find there is a mistake I’ve made over and over again: I place more emphasis and value on giving material items that will hopefully convey my feelings instead of being emotionally present.

Picture this: you’re out to dinner with your family. Your aunt starts talking about Trump again and you’re tired of everything everyone in this family has ever done, ever. You unlock your phone screen and decide to escape to someplace less….lame. 

Meanwhile, you have other relatives who are wondering how you’ve been, what you’re up to, and where you’re going. Realizing you are unavailable, they too unlock their phones to be immersed in their own worlds.

This isn’t just isolated to families. This goes for friends, too. I am a huge culprit of being the Snapchat friend who spends more time getting the right angle than discussing the food that was just laid on the table. Once the plates hit the table, I am no longer available for discussion until everything looks great on camera.

How sad. 

It’s something I hope to work on in the near future by being mindful of how present I am in each situation. Am I a solid 8? A 9? A weak 3? My engagement matters—people wouldn’t seek to meet up with me if it didn’t. And because they took that time to go out of their way to try and connect with me, the least I could do is be who they thought I’d be—unattached to any other devices for the time being.

This is crucial for the holiday season. Like I said, we always stress holiday cheer and presents given to one another. But sometimes, it isn’t enough. This is a point we try to mitigate with bigger, better, more thoughtful presents. But as cheesy as it sounds, our presence can speak volumes more than that at the end of the day—year round.

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