Let’s Talk Culture: Who’s paying the bill?
By Ayman Siraj ‘18
The biggest fear for any international student coming to the U.S. for the first time is not being able to adapt to U.S. culture. It’s true that cultures are different as you transgress borders.
When I was learning English,
I was at a British School in Saudi Arabia and it led to a few funny encounters
with my friends here in America. One such instance: My friend Tim and I went grocery shopping and I was like, ‘Tim, should I grab a trolley?’ Tim burst
out laughing, and I didn’t understand why. He responded that it’s called a shopping
cart here. While I wasn’t wrong, Tim and I at that moment realized that even
though we speak the same language, there are subtle differences in word usage
between different countries.
Cultural Differences that I’ve Experienced:
Many of my close friends will tell you that I love joking about cultural variations between people coming from different countries. This is a result of having lived in five different countries. As such I tend to pick up on many differences. Here are a few:
1. In many
countries, the relationship between teacher and student is very rigid and
doesn’t allow for much discourse. In a U.S. university, classes are more
informal. Students are encouraged to ask questions and even disagree with the
professor. Attending office hours is crucial as this is how you build rapport
with professors and learn how to converse with adults in a new environment.
2. I come from Bangladesh, and when my friend group there goes out, one of us usually volunteers to cover the bill, and we keep rotating. In the U.S. it’s a bit different, and usually the cheque is split amongst everyone. It’s something I am still coming to terms with but that’s how it is. The reasoning I’d give is that here, as one hits eighteen, parents encourage their kids to be more independent and so people here tend to be more calculative about their budgeting.
3. In many countries, when you meet someone you know on your way, you say, ‘Hello’ and talk for a few minutes. It’s very different here. ‘Hello’ doesn’t mean the person is free to talk for a while. It’s usually just customary to say – ‘Hello, how are you?’ and keep walking. Obviously, if it’s a close friend, you’re going to stop and talk. But I learned this the hard way. I’d always stop when I saw someone I knew and more than half of the time I’d get an ‘Err, I gotta get to class.’ Also keep your distance while conversing – three feet I’d say. Where I come from, we’re usually right next to the person while talking.
4. The way with words here is very indirect. When I got feedback for my first essay here, the first line read: ‘Ayman, your essay is very good, however in this paragraph…’ I questioned why bad and good would be mixed. That’s how it is here. The tone is meant to be indirect so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings or completely disregard them.
5. I went to boarding school in India, and everyone there jokes about ‘Indian Standard Time.’ What that means is - if someone says, ‘The event is at 8pm,’ people usually add an extra hour to show up to it. Here, punctuality is emphasized greatly. Don’t be late to job interviews by even a minute, and don’t be late to events you’ve signed up to go to. No one is going to blast at you, but it isn’t looked upon as a positive trait to be late here.
However, I don’t want you to just have my biased opinion on how I view life here Stateside. So I got the opinions of a few of my friends, both international and domestic. Here are their thoughts:
Cultural Experiences of Other USC Students:
“The one that I notice the most and is rather recurring is how much more individualistic things are in the U.S. compared to Brazil. For example, when it’s someone’s birthday here and a group of friends goes out for dinner, everyone pays their own part and chips in for the person whose birthday it is. In Brazil, if it’s my birthday I will invite my friends to dinner and pay for everything. It’s my birthday, I appreciate their company and presence, so I treat them to a nice dinner. That also applies to many other scenarios where money is involved. This slight difference just makes people seem a bit less connected, since the way we do it in Brazil makes it seem like you’re part of something greater, like a family.”
- L.F, Brazil
“I was at In-n-Out with my Norwegian friend and he was repeatedly blown away by the fact that the soda machine is out and anyone can go and refill their own soda. Just in general, all he does is talk about how much food we eat and that the serving sizes at most places are like family-sized meals. But you know I’m a big food person, so that’s the main thing I notice.”
- T.S, Virginia
“I feel like I notice the similarities a lot more than differences with my international friends actually. I just like how we all like doing the same things, like with Students for Justice in Palestine e-board going out to dinner, or like when I went to Hawaii for Habitat for Humanity, my friend from Pakistan was just as cool and fun as my American friends on the trip. Also, my German friend is as interested in American politics as us citizens, is as passionate about Harry Potter as I was, and enjoys Greek life just as much as us.”
- A.M, Michigan
I hope this post eased the tension many of you may have had about adapting to American culture. If you have further questions or concerns regarding student life in the U.S., please feel free to message me.
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