Reflections on Freshman Year
By: Natalie Oganesyan ‘22
Now that freshman year is winding down to an end, I want to take a minute to reflect. The transition from high school to college is unique — it’s a time of intense change, exploration, discovery, and growth. If you had an experience that was anything like mine, it may have resembled Kylie’s 2016 resolutions.
You grew, you learned, you changed for the better, you understood things you didn’t before. Most of all, though, you had fun, even with all the ups and downs. Below are a list of some things I learned and want to keep in mind as I go through college, and life in general. Enjoy!
1. Build a good support system (independence doesn’t require isolation)
When I first came to college and had a full understanding of the independence I had while at USC, I was reluctant to open up to others — especially since I had a falling-out with one of my best friends at the end of high school. To all the incoming freshmen next semester, do not be afraid to put yourself out there. Ask for people’s social media, numbers, SnapChat, even if you don’t know if they’re lifelong-friend material. I remember meeting my core group of friends during Welcome Week, unaware of how much they’d eventually mean to me. I remember how we were all strangers taking everything in and making new memories one experience at a time. You never know when someone important is going to enter your life.
Take it from someone who’s pretty introverted and still trying to break out of her shy shell: it’s so worth going out there and making new friendships. As you get to know people, you can gauge if you’re going to be compatible with them. Find people who are like you, but who are different enough from you to offer new perspectives and keep your relationship with them exciting. Find friends who challenge you, root for you, help you out in your hard times, who point out when you’re being problematic, and who truly care for you.
2. Realize not everyone is rooting for you
On the flip side, understand that as you build close bonds with some, you will encounter people you want to steer clear from. With college comes new experiences, people, places, etc. You’re bound to run into some issues — whether they’re personal, academic, or social. Either way, you’re going to go through it sometimes. And that’s okay. This is why it’s essential to surround yourself with people who are going to listen to you, offer advice, and help you out in your hardship.
Personally, I experienced a relationship in which the person I was involved with was unable to communicate effectively about what they wanted out of it, and I ended up getting hurt. After grieving and taking a step back, I realized that some people are just meant to be teaching points in life. They help you grow and understand more about yourself and the world, but that doesn’t mean they should stay in your life.
As someone who’s pretty prone to naive and idealistic outlooks on human behavior, I found it hard to believe how utterly shitty people can be. Not everyone is going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and that is unfortunately a lesson that took me a while to learn. However — to avoid ending on a cynical note — there are people out there who genuinely care about you and will help you deal with the people who don’t.
3. You’ll see your parents differently
When you’re a kid, you naturally put your parents on a pedestal. They are everything to you and their word is final. When you become an adult (kind of, I’m still working on it), you see everything differently. You no longer see your parents as people who are incapable of any bad deeds or wrongdoing. You see them as human — with their very prominent flaws and the capability to make mistakes, just like everyone else. It’s quite a transition to perceive your parents as fellow adults or on a more equal footing. Especially for me, who comes from a fairly strict and traditional Armenian family, it was weird to have deep conversations with my parents. Depending on your family dynamics and background, there will probably have to be some sort of adjustment or reconciliation with your newfound adulthood. And that can be uncomfortable and scary. Know that it’s a learning curve and — especially if your parents aren’t the best — you’re not entitled to privy them to any information that belongs to you and you only.
4. Some weird stuff will happen … but it’ll make for some fun stories
From going out to Frat Row on a Thursday night or staying up until 5 a.m. doing face masks with my friends or watching a live drag show for the first time on campus, you’ll find yourself in some pretty different situations than you probably experienced in high school. Especially if, like me, you went to a conservative, predominantly white, Christian high school. Like that Spider-Man quote, you may have realized that with great power (aka the freedom you have in college living on your own) comes great responsibility (aka if you’re going to be out of pocket there’s a time and place to do it). Remember to drink responsibly and take necessary precautions to have a sober buddy and a safe ride home. Also, know that moderation is key (more on this later). Here are some links to alcohol and drug safety:
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/alcohol-safety-tips
https://merryjane.com/culture/marijuana-college-students-advice
5. Take a minute to slow down (you’re really here, doing this ish!)
You literally made it. While this University and its executive board have really been through it in terms of the entire nation questioning its moral sense of integrity and transparency, realize that you got into college. And a great one at that. When school gets overwhelming and it becomes hard to cope with all your commitments, realize that all your hard work led you here and you are meant to be here. When I would find myself filled with anxiety and aggressively stressed with everything on my plate, it really helped to take a step back and understand truly how far I’d come. In high school, it seemed like everything I did was for the sake of higher education and getting into college. Now, knowing that I’m here and that I’m loving what I do is a great reminder for when times get tough or I need a little encouragement.
6. Make time for YOU
When things get hectic, which they often do at college, I’ve realized that it’s incredibly helpful to reserve time for myself. Introverted as I am, I mostly unwind by spending time alone. I like journaling, watching Netflix, listening to music, and doing a whole bunch of self-care stuff. Even just laying in bed and meditating for five to ten minutes can make a difference in a stressful day. (Look at my self-care post here for more tips, especially since finals season is coming up!)
7. Balance, balance, balance
This kind of supplements point #4. Make sure that while you’re exploring your freedom, you’re also focusing on the whole reason you’re even at college — to learn. It’s important to strike up a balance between your school work, extracurriculars, jobs, mental health, and going out. I firmly believe that, while education is important, nothing is as valuable as your mental and emotional well-being. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your engagements and how you divide up your time. It’s okay to dial back on your commitments — you don’t have to be doing everything all at once all the time.
8. You are your biggest asset
This is probably the most important thing I’ve learned. I have had a tumultuous journey with self-love, confidence, and the way I perceive myself. Nothing has helped me realize my worth, strength, and power as much as being in college and killing it in the things that I put my entire heart and soul into has. My confidence here has grown exponentially, in part due to the support group I’ve built and the independence I’ve encountered. Most of all though, I attribute this boost of self-esteem to me. Realize that, in everything you put your mind to, you are your biggest asset. You have skills, talents, knowledge, and abilities that are unique to you. Use them to your advantage!
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