7 Ways to Cope With Reverse Culture Shock (Welcome Home!)

By Grace Carballo ‘17

For all those who have studied abroad and those who are welcoming home loved ones who were abroad, it is important to recognize that reverse culture shock is a very real phenomenon; it takes time and patience to readjust to life back in the U.S.

I’ve been home from Nicaragua for a couple of weeks now and I have not been adjusting nearly as well as I thought I would (I think very highly of myself). If you are finding yourself overwhelmed by what was once familiar (high coffee prices, frigid winters, etc.) and unable to summarize your months of experiences succinctly for mildly-interested acquaintances at the grocery store, you are not alone.  

SIT, School for International Training, the program I went to Nicaragua through, provided us with “re-entry tools”, which I have been trying to use.

Here are 7 I’m partial to so far:

1. (Misty Water Colored) Memories

Before you leave, if you haven’t already, take photos of the places that were integral to your experience, buy postcards of your favorite sites, learn to cook a local dish, purchase the music you listened to there, get something nice for your mother, etc. For example, below is a photo of the park I ran in every morning. And though my experiences there weren’t wholly positive (s/o to the man who literally drove there and waited for me to run by on numerous occasions and other creeps), I want to remember every detail. Having these mementos is also helpful for detailing your adventures to the folks at home.

2. Stay In Touch, Don’t Just Suggest It

In this day and age, there’s really no reason not to stay in touch. Before you leave, make sure to determine how you will be able to contact your new loved ones, whether they be fellow students in the U.S. or your host family and professors in your host country. Thanks to facebook, I’ve been able to send my host mom photos of my Christmas tree, dog, and American family and talk with her regularly for updates on my favorite people. WhatsApp is great because it allows you to text via Wifi so no international fees. I’m even connected with my research adviser via Linked-In. What a time to be alive!

Staying in contact with my peers from the program has also helped a lot with the reverse culture shock. We’re spread across the U.S. but collectively we are all cold; even Southern California is chilly compared to Managua. We have a Facebook group message and I’ve sent each of them a Christmas card (The Carballo family is on top of our game this year) both because I love them and because abruptly ending a relationship with people you’ve lived with for three months is not healthy for anyone. I’ve literally dreamt of my host family since being home, and my reverse homesickness can only be soothed by my commitment to stay in touch and my intentions to return as soon as possible.

3. Sharing is Caring

What good is all the new perspective and knowledge you’ve gained if you keep it to yourself? There are lots of ways you can actually use what you’ve learned and maybe even help others. Our Academic Director, Aynn, suggested that we use our greatly improved Spanish skills, as well as sharing with others our experiences in Nicaragua, possibly changing any misconceptions they may harbor.

You could translate for a hospital (Take it from someone with a weak body- it was so comforting when the doctor I saw in Managua spoke some English) in the United States, you could offer to assist in an English as a Second Language course, you could maybe teach a lesson about your host country in a local elementary school, there’s plenty of options out there. I taught a lesson in my aunt’s class with my new brother, Kevin, who is from Managua and my family signed up to be the “Friendship Family” for during this school year.  

Doing something with what you’ve learned not only could benefit the community but also will help with the readjustment process.

4. Listen Up Y’all- We Have Two Ears but One Mouth for a Reason

My mom says I have the “gift of gab” and that is a very sweet way of saying I can talk at length about anything, especially something that’s near and dear to my heart, like my experiences in Nicaragua. But what I’ve come to realize is that it’s just as important, if not more-so, to listen and be engaged in what others are saying.

Many people who return from study abroad trips are hurt and confused when they feel like no one wants to hear about their adventures. Some people may care as much as you do, but most want the highlights at most. Recognizing this and being prepared for it helps a great deal. Everyone else’s lives have changed in the duration of your time abroad, as well, and it’s important to care as much about their change in major, their breakup, or their new internship, as they care about the birthday party your host family threw you.

5. Ch-ch-ch-changes, Changes

I realized yesterday that I am severely out of the loop when my friends and I were driving to the Chicago Bulls game and I could not sing along or even name the artist to several consecutive songs on the radio. Who am I? These are the songs that are over-played, I can’t even imagine the number of hidden gems that have escaped my radar these past few months!

The familiar may seem different. A restaurant I’d only been to once closed and a new one replaced it and I’m still not sure how I feel about that. Relationships may have changed, too, especially given how hard it is to stay in contact while you’re studying and traveling. Even things that haven’t physically changed may seem different from your new perspective.

It is pretty unsettling returning from a very humbling, thought-provoking experience abroad to capitalism and consumerism in full swing for the holidays. The SIT tips suggest reserving immediate judgment about people and behaviors upon returning; only after time and reflection will major insights, about yourself and the U.S., come together.

And in regard to cultural re-learning, an open mind and a sense of humor can work wonders, just like they did when you first started in your host country.

6. MissUnderstood

You’ve probably changed in this experience and people may concentrate on these changes and classify them as bad, blaming your time abroad and using you to confirm their stereotypes. Others may find mannerisms and practices that have become normal offensive and off-putting. Still others may find your name-dropping of foreign places or use of correct pronunciation of them and foreign words boastful. Perhaps others feel you are judging them and the United States and seeing it very critically, and perhaps you are.

Maybe the home you dreamed of returning to at your low points abroad does not offer the warm welcome you envisioned. Try to be aware of all of this and respond patiently.

7. Takes Time to Realize Readjust

I’m going to be honest with you, I said “Holá” to a woman walking her dog on my run around the neighborhood the other day. I’ve also said “Salud” to a man at a party when he sneezed. I regularly cannot quite think of the right word in English which is a huge bummer because I once prided myself on my vocabulary. And now re-reading that last sentence I’m not even sure if “prided” is a word.

I still put the toilet paper in the garbage can instead of the toilet, like everyone does in Nicaragua, and I’m still a little weirded out by how quiet my street in Lisle is compared to in Managua. I am so so cold and have taken to wearing at least two pairs of pants and several socks every time I leave my house even though everyone and their brother loves telling me how “mild” this winter is. Last night I slept in a parka.

But I’m allowing myself time to adjust. The first few days all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep, and it was tough explaining my exhaustion because when asked about the time difference I was forced to admit that there isn’t one.

Whether you find yourself feeling a little alienated, bored, or unable to explain upon your return home, don’t be too hard on yourself. Like all good things, it will take a little bit of time.

So don’t rush yourself! Especially if you’re returning from a country where the people view time as more of a guideline rather than the rigid scheduling way we use here.

Welcome home and fight on,

Grace

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