Second Thoughts on Joining a House?
By Lauren Brose ‘15
When I came to USC, I was on the fence about joining Greek. I disliked how outsiders would dismissively remark how people in Greek are essentially paying money to be friends with people who were chosen to be in a house based on their appearance. To be honest, the notion that I was paying for friends really got to me. I knew I didn’t need to do that. As a transfer student, however, I recognized I didn’t have the same opportunities those who were at USC since freshman year had; namely, the chance to mix with students who were all freshmen just like them. So I joined a house. I had two amazing years in the sorority but when my final semester at USC came around, I decided against staying.
There are many things I Ioved about being in a sorority and many I was ashamed of. It wasn’t independent to my sorority alone but instead the entire institution of Greek itself. Randomly pool 50 students at USC who are affiliated members and I bet you will find that not everyone will agree with me. Some live and breathe for their fraternity or sorority and some will shrug. The point I’m trying to make is this: it isn’t a bad thing to have either of these attitudes, it’s important to know yourself and determine if you’re getting from Greek what you want.
Many concerns girls have when considering joining or staying in a house include:
Why aren’t I best friends with everyone?
When you are welcomed into a sisterhood of 230 members with a pledge class of nearly 70, it would be a miracle if everyone’s personalities perfectly meshed together. There are all types of people and they all exist in every single house. Inevitably, you aren’t going to hit it off with every single person we meet. That keeps life exciting, though, because that makes it that much better when you do meet someone you really vibe with.
Did I just buy my friends?
After choosing not to be part of my sorority anymore I didn’t see much change other than not having to attend mandatory events and now having to make my own lunches and dinners. The girls I knew in my house, including the president, still continues to treat me the same way I was treated when I was an active member. This can attest to the fact that when one joins a house, they are by no means paying monthly dues to have friends. Once again, it’d be a miracle if my entire 70-person pledge class was one single friend group of girls. That just isn’t the case in life or in any Greek house.
I have a significant other so what’s the point?
I’ll let you in on a secret: I had a boyfriend most of my time in Greek. You know what else? I also went out more than most of my friends and have tons of guy friends who don’t ever try to hook up with me. Your personal experience in Greek is what you make of it. When I had initially met a guy at a party, I’d make it very clear from the beginning I wasn’t interested. The ball is in their court: if they are only there to try to take you home, they will leave. If they are interested in simply hanging out and friendship, he wont go anywhere. If you choose to be that person who never goes out and focuses on being with their significant other’s for as much time as possible, that is entirely on you.
I don’t ever see myself living in the house
I never saw myself living in the house and I was totally okay with that. I would walk to the house and beeline to the third floor where my closest friends lived. My sorority’s living room, dining room, study snacks and meals were nice enough for me to want to come by the house on my own time. If I ever felt like I couldn’t focus with so many people circulating or if I just wanted a break from Greek life, I would retreat to my home off of 27th and Magnolia. It was far enough away from Row and I appreciated the healthy distance I had from that parallel universe.
I just am not very TFM/TSM
This is definitely my favorite and least favorite part about Greek. Total Frat Move / Total Sorority Move are college lifestyle publications that showcases the stereotypical lifestyle of Greek life all over the United States. The content on this site is always pretty absurd with videos of huge frat parties, highlights of hot sorority girls and random articles, skits, and photos. I like it mainly because USC is featured on there pretty often and it brings a sense of unity to Greeks in our nation as we all make up the core of the content. I hate it because it only posts the absurdities and gives a distorted outlook on what Greek like should look like. With college students pushing the limitations of our administration’s policies and the many controversies that follow underage drinking and nonconsensual sex, we were better off as free thinkers who didn’t look upon others for ways to “frat out.” When we are modeling our behaviors after these darkly romanticized archetypes, the respect for what this community was intended for is completely lost.
Here’s the deal, Greek is a great community for some and it is also not a right fit for others. I had a great time when I was in Greek because of the approach I made. I didn’t treat it as if I paid money to be in a special society; I took advantage of the many opportunities provided by my sorority to meet people from all houses whether it be guys or girls. Most importantly, I stayed true to myself and didn’t conform to expectations. In the end, I do not regret having gone Greek. It helped me step from my shell and meet new people on a regular basis. On the other side of the coin, I completely understand why dropping the house you’re in is an enticing idea.
The best piece of advice I can give is this: If by the end of this semester you don’t get along well with anyone in your house, you feel like you truly don’t fit in with the lifestyle and your gut is telling you this isn’t for you, listen to your gut. If I did, I’d be in the same exact place as I am right now because honestly, I have no regrets.
