Some Things To Know Before You Go

Grace Carballo ‘17

I’m writing this post from my bedroom in my homestay in Managua because I have a little free time due to the unfortunate, but undeniable fact that I am too sick to go to class this afternoon. 

Two nights ago, I dipped rags in my bucket of water (because water only runs from 2 am to 9 am in our neighborhood) to cool my burning skin which googling Celcius to Fahrenheit conversions to see just how high my fever was in a unit that I understood. It was 102.1, ironically the exact same temperature the heat index for Managua was that afternoon.

Mere moments ago, my amazing host mom was by my bedside trying to comfort me as I explained in Spanish between gasps for air and choking sobs, that until I am not physically sick, I will undoubtably be utterly homesick, and I love her and I love it here but I just can’t stop crying. 

My host family has taught me a lot, from my little brother correcting my grammar mockingly to my parents patiently clarifying the nightly news, and I like to think that if I leave them with a lesson of my own it’s that it is more than okay to cry. My youngest host brother (age 2) seems to have already picked up on this and really run with it!

(our return voyage home from Pearl Lagoon on the Caribbean Coast of Nicaragua)

Earlier today I went to the neighborhood church where there is also a doctor available for consultations and got some antibiotics, some oral rehydration powders, and some free vitamins as a gift. Apparently none of the above have kicked in yet because it is as if a monster is inside of me.  This was, in fact, the case 18 days ago, when I found out I did have parasites- two different types, wouldn’t you know it, but they coexisted together marvelously. Let this be a lesson to us all. 

While I’m thinking about home and wallowing in my homesickness, I’ve decided that if I was at USC this semester I would without a doubt be a parasite for Halloween because they are appropriately terrifying and there’s nothing like being the only parasite at a costume party, probably. I’ve never actually had this experience but let’s face it, there are very limiting societal expectations for women’s costumes, and it’s important to defy these whenever possible. To those out there still looking for ideas, don’t try being a Sexy Parasite. You’re above it, and also, it can’t be done. 

The costume debacle is an annual struggle that Lena Dunham knows all too well and I’m slightly relieved to not have to worry about this year (Read all about this and lots of great articles about feminism, politics, health and more by subscribing to free emails from http://www.lennyletter.com/  - It’s so refreshing to see my Lenny and Skimm emails amidst all the literal garbage that somehow gets sent my way electronically).

The lesson I hoped to convey to all the people with study abroad just on the horizon, or perhaps a little more in the distance, is that it is not always going to be comfortable. It is not always fun, and perhaps most shocking, it is not always instagrammable. 

You might need to apply bug spray like it’s perfume.  You might be followed by local children, curious by nature, who want to “watch the lady makin exercise” while you go for a run to clear your mind. You might, despite top quality ear plugs, have trouble sleeping because a security man in the neighborhood blows his whistle every hour as loud as his lungs allow him to and your window does not have glass to block the sound and you resent him every time more than the last. 

Or maybe all of these incidents are very specific to my experience and you will face and overcome obstacles of your very own.

Recreating a photo from 1957 of my Grandma Pat in front of the Catedral de Habana

Even in my darkest hour, which may very well be this one, I don’t regret studying abroad. I came back from Cuba 4 days ago, (stay tuned for a post about that because it was unbelievably cool especially in this time of transition), I actually feel like I’ve become a part of my Nicaraguan host family (I weep openly here), I can express myself in Spanish (or at least I hope so because my description of this illness led directly to whatever these pills are I’m consuming), and I’ve been able to question from a new perspective my own culture, my own preconceived notions, and my own personal and political views. I believe the scientific term is “big picture stuff”.

My Facebook album (see above photoshoot on a balcony in my Casa Particular in Habana) doesn’t show my full experience - I don’t even think cameras are allowed in doctor’s offices; I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully respond to “How was your time abroad?” in a way that is succinct but comprehensive; and even my personal blog, though it does lack a certain filter, cannot accurately portray the day-to-day realities.

So before you go abroad, just know that it isn’t always a walk in the park. In fact, my walks in the park (or runs if I’m being ambitious), have been consistently full of grown men shouting piropos, making kissy noises, or following me, so perhaps that wasn’t the best choice of expression.

If you do get the opportunity to study abroad, here’s a little unsolicited advice coming your way

1) Be open to new experiences. 2) Don’t be shocked or mad if you find yourself ill. 3) Recognize that the new culture you are in is not your own and you will never fully understand it and shouldn’t claim to. 4) Go places even if you can’t bring your camera. 5) Recognize the importance of local knowledge. 6) Learn from the people around you, not only in the classroom but everyday. 7) Ask them what they personally think; book knowledge only covers so much. 8)Don’t be afraid to ask for help. 9) Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. 10) Speak with everyone who will speak with you even if it isn’t in your first language.

 In time, my friends, you and I will learn how to be comfortable feeling uncomfortable, which some might say is life’s greatest skill. 

Cuban food is as good as you may have heard, let the records show.

One final thought-

The Office of Overseas Studies is your absolute best resource when choosing a program, because they have all the responses of past program participants, as well as program-specific orientations with recent study abroad alums in whatever location you end up choosing. They even include specific obstacles some students might face or considerations to be aware of in the host country, like people of color, women, and LGBT students. If I hadn’t known about the machista culture going into this, I shiver to think how I might have reacted.

Safe travels to all and may you never perpetuate the “Ugly American” stereotype in your journeys,

Graciela Carballo