The Art of the Coffee Chat

photo credit: Chevanon Photography

by Lauren Liang ‘23

“You should be doing coffee chats!” –– everyone, as soon as you enter college.

Everyone is a big advocate for doing coffee chats, but in my experience, nobody ever tells you how to go about doing coffee chats or even what a coffee chat is supposed to be. If you’ve run into this same predicament, this guide is for you. 

What’s a Coffee Chat?

Glad you asked. A coffee chat is a bit like an interview. Not a job interview where you’re being assessed (and doing some assessing of your own) but a professional conversation where you can ask the person you’re chatting with questions about their career, role, and company. Coffee chats are a great way to learn more about a career/company you’re interested in, where a certain major can take you, or how someone switched career paths. They’re also a great way to network. 

Setting Up the Chat

Possibly the most intimidating part of coffee chats isn’t the chat itself, but setting it up. When I first started thinking about coffee chats, I hated the idea of having to bother someone and ask for their time with nothing to offer in return. While I would be lying if I said I no longer feel this way, I always remind myself that the worst thing that can happen is getting no response or being turned down, but this has still yet to happen to me. There is absolutely no harm in asking someone if they would be open to chatting with you. Those who say yes genuinely want to help you! Many of the people I’ve spoken with will mention how people chatted with them when they were students, and they now want to return the favor (a.k.a.you aren’t burdening the people you’re chatting with). 

While I was interning over the summer, setting up coffee chats was as simple as dropping a meeting on someone’s Teams calendar. One of my favorite things about the company was that everyone was accessible (even people in leadership positions), and coffee chats were extremely encouraged, even with people who worked on unrelated projects. However, if you don’t happen to be in this position, don’t worry! Many of the coffee chats I’ve done were with people I’ve cold messaged on LinkedIn. If you plan on going this route, I recommend sending a brief message with who you are, why you’re messaging that person specifically, and what you want from them. Here’s a helpful template to get you started:

“Hi [name]! My name is [your name], and I’m currently [studying _____/a student at USC]. I’m interested in [career field] and saw on your profile that [profile specific detail about why you’re reaching out to this person]. If you have the time, I’d love to [learn more about your career journey/role at company/have a quick chat about xyz].”

If this feels intimidating to you, try reaching out to fellow Trojans. That way, you have something in common with the person you’re messaging (“Hi [name], I saw you’re a Trojan too!”). 

If you’re reaching out to someone you met at a career fair or other event, you can (and should) give the person you’re messaging a reminder of how you know each other (“Hi [name], it was so nice to meet you at xyz event!”). 

Always remember to be courteous in your request. Never demand or feel entitled to someone's time. This is a fast way to not get a favorable response to your request. 

Once someone has agreed to chat with you, set up a time that works for both parties and discuss where the chat will be held (Zoom or IRL). The only coffee chats I’ve ever done in person were during an in-office summer internship. Otherwise, it’s usually more convenient for both parties to chat via Zoom or over the phone. 

I try to be as efficient as possible in setting up coffee chats, especially because the person you’re chatting with likely has a full-time job, which is time-consuming enough for them. The summer after my sophomore year, I was setting up so many coffee chats that I made a Calendly link I would share with those who agreed to chat with me so we wouldn’t have to continuously message and find a time that worked for both of us. If this isn’t your style, I would still recommend sending over a Google Calendar invite so the other person has the time blocked off on their calendar. 

Photo Credit: Daria Obymaha

The Chat

Someone has agreed to chat with you! I’ve found coffee chats move in two directions: professional (talking about career/technical things) or conversational (more personal topics). Sometimes they’re a mixture of both. When I was a product design intern at the aforementioned company, I would set up coffee chats with people whose roles had nothing to do with mine just because I wanted to learn more about their thoughts on company culture and their roles. These more personal conversations would give me a better understanding of the culture at the company (as well as great recommendations for things to do in NYC, where I was interning). Learning about others’ career journeys is super interesting and gives great perspective, even if their career isn’t similar to yours. Usually when you’re cold messaging people on LinkedIn, however, you’ll have a more directly professional reason for doing so. Maybe you want to learn more about the company they work for or how they ended up in their current role or how they pulled off an industry switch. 

In any case, have a list of questions prepared. Don’t ask someone for a coffee chat just for the sake of having a coffee chat. Sitting in awkward silence, especially during a meeting you requested can come off as disrespectful of the other person’s time. On the other hand, you don’t need to run the chat as an interview. It’s a coffee chat, not a coffee interrogation. Let the conversation flow naturally – it’s okay if you don’t get every single question you brainstormed answered. Just be sure to ask your most pressing questions toward the start of the conversation. 

I’ve found the flow of conversation can depend greatly on the personality of the person you’re talking to. Some people will give short and direct answers, some will expand and give you a more natural way to evolve the conversation. Most of my coffee chats have lasted around 30 minutes, which is the perfect balance for getting to have a quality conversation while not asking for too much of people’s time. My longest chat ran a little over an hour. Don’t worry if you don’t automatically click with the person you’re chatting with. Just because your chat doesn’t run long doesn’t mean you made a bad impression.

Post-Chat 

After a coffee chat, I like to send a quick message thanking the other person for their time and mentioning something specific from our conversation that I found particularly interesting. To keep up the connection, you can send a follow up message a few months on. Here’s a follow up template to get you started

“Hi [name], thank you again for chatting with me about xyz. Thanks to [something from the conversation that was helpful to you], I [how their advice, etc helped you].” 

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