Finding Your Passion with Alexis Jones: Author, Activist and Founder of I Am That Girl
By Lauren Brose ‘15
Alexis Jones is wearing fitted black jeans with tears at the knees, a loose black tank top and a pair of long necklaces. Her long brown hair bounces effortlessly as she walks over to a number of familiar faces sitting in the audience. Sharing the captivating story of how she found her passion, wrote a book, and founded I Am That Girl, Jones’ inspiration was first sparked at her alma mater, USC. Before she dove into the meat of her story, she first asked the audience a question:
“Are you all comfortable with me having a conversation with
you?”
She explains how people who are public speakers do this for a living. That being, they script and regurgitate a performance that they had previously done and they know when they’ll get the laugh, when they’ll get the cry—but that’s just not how Alexis does it. I am sitting in the back middle section of the Wallis Annenberg Hall auditorium yet I feel as if I am having a one-on-one conversation not just with Alexis Jones— USC alum, activist, published author and entrepreneur— but also with a friend. She says things like “I am stoked to be able to have this sanctuary to be candid” and “can we get a round of applause for all the men in the room?” and I find myself noticing so many similarities I have with her. I resonate with her insights on life specifically about her bit on girls and the distorted perceptions society has of defining success. Within minutes, she has my full attention.
She then asks the audience a second question: “Are you okay with me being vulnerable?”
Alexis then revealed that, like many of us, for the longest time she’s had to wear a mask in order to fit in. She was the poor kid who lived in a rich area and she dreamt of someday moving to Los Angeles to find success. Despite the fact that USC’s tuition cost more than what her father made in one year, she continued to excel with her academics and was offered acceptance to USC with merit scholarships. She points out how today’s generation consists of dreamers and that is inherent in our DNA. We grew up with Zuckerberg’s of the world but ironically, we are being mocked behind our backs for being what many consider to be the most entitled generation that has ever existed. We are called ‘Generation Y Not’ and that is such a miniscule problem at hand because if you think about it people who actually believe that they can some day change the world are surrounding us.
Another aspect of our generation is our frequent exposure to media and how this inevitably has adverse affects on society. The average human consumes 10 hours of media per day. Social media causes so much vanity because users feel inclined to show only the highlights of their lives, that “we post this perfect picture of life that nobody can look up to and what’s worse is that we scroll through Instagram and we school through Facebook just so we can see other people’s lives.” The number of likes received on that photo is validation for ones significance and popularity.
By sophomore year she was modeling full time, hosting a TV show on the red carpet through Annenberg and she was dating an Abercrombie model who also attended USC. According to what society highlighted as “having it all,” Alexis technically had the full package: money, fame and beauty. So why wasn’t she happy? A defining moment for Alexis was one day after Spanish class when a classmate whom she never spoke to says to her ““Alexis Jones, the girl with the perfect life” as she turned around and walked off. It dawned on her that she had gotten so good at convincing people she was perfect that she had completely forgotten what she wanted out of life. It was then when her mother gave her advice that changed everything: “if you’re so focused on consumption and don’t focus on contribution then you will never live a life that gives you purpose.” Right then and there, she realized that what she was doing right now just wasn’t working and she was open for change. As a result, she dropped her pursuit of fame, wealth and beauty and began trying new things to rediscover herself.
On a whim, Alexis auditioned for a play called “Vagina Monologues,” a showcase of monologues that focus on topics of female empowerment. Being able to own the stage and have a conversation is how Alexis finally find her passion. She was now aware of current issues such as acid burning in Iran being a legal practice in the 21st century and that 1 in 4 girls will be sexually assaulted during her college education. She felt that there are so many trivial things— boys, movies, and clothes— are all that’s talked when there’s so many major things that nobody brings up. What if we spent one day talking about the things that really matter?
She asked 6 of her sorority sisters if they would be interested in meeting up to discuss significant current issues once a week and they all agreed to come. The result Alexis found was magnificent: within 20 minutes of discussing global issues and its many atrocities, girls began to open up and talk about their own personal lives. In Alexis’ words, “permission given to open up and share parts about their lives that they’d never shared with anyone before—ever.” Six weeks later, 347 people started showing up to these meetings. It transcended beyond sorority girls and attracted a wide diversity of the student body.
Alexis asked big questions because it was clear to her that there was a significant lack of support groups for women. She asked, “when did it happen? When did we start being so mean to each other? Because I don’t think we’re programmed that way. I don’t see little toddlers intentionally being cruel to one another the way cruelty exists today—especially in girl culture. When did we start being so mean to ourselves? Does it have to be that way?”
Fast forward a couple years, and Alexis competed on the TV show survivor, she published a novel, the club I Am That Girl is becoming more widespread across college campuses, she was the first female from Houston to give a Tedx, and teamed up with First Lady Michelle Obama on a project. She discusses the notion that “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” and illustrates that point through the story of how she was able to convince Michelle Obama to co-host and even. During a female-related event held at the White House, Alexis meets her briefly and takes the plunge by telling her: “hey just so you know there’s a lot of bad going on in the world but there’s also a lot of good going on in the world. And the girls I am working with are going to be the next generation of female leaders. I just want to let you know I am available if you want me to co-host an event with you.” Two weeks later, Alexis receives a call from the White House letting her know that what she told the First Lady stuck with her and she wanted Alexis to work with her on an event.
Alexis ends her presentation through emphasizing that she didn’t create I Am That Girl because girls needed it—she created it because she needs it. She admits that her mind can subconsciously translate jealousy into competitive nature into judgment and then into resentment at warp speed. I Am That Girl corrects the negative programming that is engrained in her mind that is so existent in other people. She tells us not to be like the 90% of people who sell out; be the type of person who fights for something bigger than them. Have the courage to dream and do something that matters because that is the type of stuff that leaves a legacy.
