Loving Yourself Is More Important Than You Think
By Judy Lee ‘17
We all hear the term “self-love” thrown around a lot these days. Most times, it’s a term used to encapsulate nice things you can do for yourself that make you happy. Now, before I move any further with this: yes, it is very important to do things that make you happy. However, I feel as if it runs much deeper than that. Self-love, to me, is also a lot about healing yourself and finding calm.
The suggestions you’ll find online will generally fall under the “buy something” or “take a bath” categories. I’m of a belief that self-love as a tool for healing, should be as personal as it sounds. At the end of the day, there are different activities that do different things and evoke different emotions for different people. It’s only fair that it be that way. Instead, self-love should emphasize a number of things:
Long-term activities that are sustainable
By this, I mean that although it’s fun to be impractical (and this is necessary at times), it’s best to have something that demonstrates your commitment to your own wellbeing. This means something that will take longer than a 20-minute bath. Again, nothing wrong with a nice bath (although there is a drought), but longer-term things should for sure be a part of the mix. Examples of this are obviously subjective, but some examples of this may be something like taking a short walk every day to reflect on the events of the day or learning a new art and letting yourself flourish in your dedication to being better at it. It shouldn’t always be about bursts of happiness. Sometimes, being satisfied—or at peace with yourself—is much more rewarding (and also important to have in your life).
Activities that are very tailored to your lived experience
As a reference to what I mentioned before about how everything shouldn’t be cut and dry when it comes to self-love, they should be very tailored to you. The reason I have a problem with “buy yourself something” suggestions is because sometimes, you may be broke. Maybe buying yourself something nice will bring you a warm feeling—but when it’s time to pay the bills, is that really something you can literally afford to do? Besides, you are capable of making yourself centered without feeding the capitalism that consumes daily society.
If you feel like buying something, maybe something that will make you happy for a long time (example: perhaps a coffee maker). For more affordable options that are tailored to your lived experience, maybe you like to dance. If so, then make space in your life for you to dance freely throughout the week. Of course, this isn’t for everything—but that’s what makes it so special to you.
We live in a society that actively tells us that we are not worthy of our own love and approval. Ads always tell us we are just so close to perfection if we could only make x purchase. This is precisely why it is such a political and controversial decision—and precisely why it is so important—to finally love yourself for who you are.
