So You’re Turning 20: A To-Do List

By Judy Lee ‘17

My birthday was on September 15 and it was the very confusing 2-0 this time around. It’s been several days of processing now and I’ve come to realize that coming to peace with leaving your teen years really requires a lot of epiphanies and moments of truth to help keep you moving forward instead of being held back.

Obviously, pictured above is the full-fledged adult I am.

Here are some things you should do before you hit the big 20:

1.    Break the rules
This is a no brainer. As a teen, you have a license—no, an EXPECTATION to be reckless sometimes. Use this to your advantage.

2.    Go to a concert
Embrace the feeling of being united with hundreds of people in appreciating something bigger than yourself.

3.    Take a moment to really look at the stars
By this, I don’t mean look up at the sky every now and then to say “wow, that’s pretty”. Really look at the stars and take a moment to realize just how small you are in relation to the universe.

4.    Go for a morning run as the sun rises
Running is a mental test and to feel the sun on your skin as you battle it out with yourself is a wonderful feeling.

5.    Vehemently defend something you are passionate about
 If you’ve spend your life being silenced or kept quiet for years, take this as a cue to fight for something. Right or wrong, be firm in your argument. Even if you’re wrong, at least you will be open to change knowing that your points were properly addressed.

6.    Cry until you have no moisture left in your body
It’s hard for some of us to really cry. If that’s no problem to you, great! It’s good to be in touch with your emotions and thoroughly feel one. If it’s been hard, retreat to a safe and comfortable space when you feel the need to cry, and try to work through the emotion instead of against it.

7.    Learn a new form of dance
Dance is one of the oldest forms of expression. As you learn a new dance, you learn something more about how you can express yourself.

8.    Go on a road trip
Whether with friends, family, or even by yourself—travel and roam without pre-set destinations.

9.    Free write for a week and observe your thoughts
This one takes more dedication, but it’s hard to truly know yourself if you’re constantly forgetting your thought processes. Stick to it for a week, and you’ll learn a lot about what’s cluttering your mind and what’s fueling your actions.

10. Make a list of things that never fail to make you truly happy
A solid list of things that make you happy will not only help you identify them, but can serve as a reminder to seek them out.

11. Go to a museum alone
Don’t ask anyone for their take on the pieces of art. Just stand there and experience it in your own way.

12. Eat a meal made fresh from the source
Go apple picking and bite into one at the end. Go to a pier and eat freshly caught seafood. The taste is so much more flavorful when it’s direct from the source.

13. Spend a day doing solely whatever you want to do in the moment
No plans, no itineraries, no protocol. Just fulfilling desires.

14. Go people watching
Observe how people move their feet. How their eyes move around as they speak to others. If you can, try to determine what makes them unique and give them a story.

15. Turn off the lights and talk to your friends in the dark
Some things are better said to a void. It’ll seem silly at first, but there really is a whole other tone to speaking to someone without seeing them.

16.Give your time to someone else
Spend a day (or more!) serving someone else’s needs. Be empathetic and feel the fulfillment in connecting with them.

17. Apologize genuinely
The hardest things to say are “I love you”, “I need help”, and “I’m sorry”. Start by learning how to properly say sorry for something you’ve done and regret.

18. Go grocery shopping for yourself and make yourself a meal
As you step closer and closer to adulthood (read: mid life crisis), you should probably know how to cook for yourself that isn’t instant.

19. Take care of a plant (that isn’t a succulent)
Nurturing is HARD. Bonus points if you raise herbs and use them in your cooking!

20. Say “I love you” to someone you genuinely love 
Again, vulnerability is a childhood trait that is severely underrated. It may be embarrassing or seem trite, but saying “I love you” and giving your love to someone is a skill you are born with. You just need to dig it back up again.