Surviving Self-Quarantine With Toxic Roommates/Housemates

By: Jordan Bucknor ‘22

Okay, so, self-quarantine/social distancing can be difficult for a lot of reasons — boredom, fear, loneliness — but can especially difficult if you are cooped up with the wrong sort people. You know, the kind that play loud music in the middle of the night, don’t clean up after themselves, and try to get under your skin at every turn.

Trust me, I get it.

The first step should always be to talk about it, to see if there’s any sort of resolution that could be reached. Suggest solutions, use “I” statements, and be direct.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t — but if it’s the latter, that doesn’t mean it’s completely hopeless. Even if the person you’re rooming with is a stubborn as a brick, you can still retain some semblance of control over yourself and your sanity, despite who may be around you.

Everyone’s situation is different, and maybe these tips won’t work for everyone, but if you could make at least one apply, social distancing might be a little bit more bearable (even with insane roommates).

Identify and protect your space.

If everything around you is chaos, you need at least one place that is not. Having your own space is a privilege, and it doesn’t necessarily even have to be a whole room — just some sort of area tailored to yourself. If you have a set area designed for your comfort (your favorite music, candles, whatever) it’ll make relaxing a whole lot easier!

Block the noise out.

Literally, especially if the person you’re living with insists on having the entire block hear whatever they’re listening to. Invest in noise-cancelling headphones. Play white noise. Use earphones. Earplugs and ear muffs are useful too.

Embrace distraction.

Sometimes bingeing gets a bad rep, but if there’s any time to go ham on a streaming service, it’s now. It doesn’t even have to be television or movies either, read a book, work on a craft — just whatever takes your mind off what’s bothering you and is bound to make you happy.

Self reflect.

Understand that even if you’re being wronged or your roommate’s doing that one thing that really gets on your nerves, sometimes, you’re just gonna have to let it go. Be the bigger person. It helps to understand why something bothers you and to consider if it is truly worth getting angered over. Don’t trivialize your emotions, but don’t exaggerate them either.

Reach out to your support group.

Vent! Just having someone to convey your feelings to is extremely helpful — get it out of your system! Everyone wants to feel heard. If you don’t have anyone to reach out to, journaling could help as well.

It’s easy to feel like there are no outs in situations like this, as if there’s no out or escape, but you never truly are. Set limits, be firm, take it one day at a time, and hopefully — this will all be over before we know it.

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