Am I Even An Adult? A Teen Navigating Independence in College

By: Alexandria Frank ‘21

*Youtuber voice* Storytime!

So, I bought these tickets last month to go see Cavetown at the Roxy Theatre. I was excited because music is amazing, and live music is even better. I was hesitant to drop $30 on these tickets, not to mention I’d have to pay more on the Uber, but I was committed because I needed to treat myself. It was Valentine’s Day.

I ate at the cafeteria in the Village so I wouldn’t be hungry in West Hollywood. I was dressed like an indie music darling. I had ordered my Uber which was taking forever to reach me for some reason, but I wasn’t bothered because I made sure to head out early. I was nearly in the clear.

And then my phone rings. It’s my dad.

Side note: Only my mom knew I was going to this concert at this point, and I fought tooth and nail for her “permission” because she was like “You’re a girl going to a concert alone. You’re being antisocial and unsafe.” And I probably was. I did not tell my father because he’d have those similar concerns but would never give in to letting me actually go to the concert.

So, I’m in front of Century Apartments on the phone with my dad, trying to sound as chill as possible and hoping he wouldn’t ask what I was doing so that I wouldn’t have to tell him the truth because I’m a goody two shoes and hate lying to my parents.

Long story short, he did ask. He found out I was going to West Hollywood which he classified as “not a place for young ladies,” which is an issue I can talk about in ANOTHER post. But basically, I was forbidden from going to another concert alone, I had to cancel my Uber which somehow still wasn’t there, I lost out on the $30 I paid for this concert, and I didn’t see my little indie icon.

And this isn’t an uncommon occurrence for me. Maybe this specific instance is, but I started college at 17. To my parents (and the law), I was a child, and they couldn’t bear the thought of me going out by myself and something possibly happening to me.

 So, instead, I got phone calls every day, asks to turn on my phone GPS, and demands that I never, ever, under any circumstance go out by myself.

Now, I love my parents, but if I want to go see a movie at the theater behind my dorm at 6:15 p.m. then I’m probably going to do it. And I have done it. Not around USC because the area is a little less walking-friendly than Howard, but still. My dad doesn’t even want me to take night classes. Where do we draw the line?

It also just hard because when you’re young and jobless in college, your parents are your lifeline in multiple ways. All my parents have to say is “Then I won’t pay for XYZ” and I’m stuck. I count on them for so much, and that leaves me asking their permission to do things that my friends’ parents don’t even know they’re doing. In fact, when I ranted to my friends about the concert situation, they all replied something along the lines of “You’re a better daughter than me. I would’ve gone anyway” or “My parents never would’ve known I left the house.”

Still, I don’t think the answer to overbearing parents is to cut them out of your life or deliberately disobey them. I don’t even think that’d be possible. I talk to my mom and dad almost every day, and while sometimes it’s annoying, most times it’s just nice to hear their voices. In the same way, when my mom asks me to come home almost every weekend, I do because I know that when I leave USC to go back to D.C., I won’t have the chance.

And, at the end of the day, as morbid as it sounds, my parents just want to see me again.

And if giving a little bit of my freedom means giving them some peace of mind, then I’m willing to do so. However, I have talked more to my parents about what it means that I am getting older and making money, so while I value their opinion, I may not always take their advice.

Or I will do that in the future.

I’m still working on it.

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